Scrubs sprecken deutsh

Heute Abend um 18:55 Uhr läuft eine meiner Lieblingsepisoden von Scrubs. Miss Sarah Chalke (links im Bild) gibt sich nämlich die Ehre, die Zuschauer mit ihren Deutschkenntnissen zu erfreuen.

Leider wird man in der ansonsten tadellosen deutschen Synchro nichts davon mitbekommen. Wie soll man auch die im Original (übrigens sehr holprigen, siehe unten) deutschen Dialoge übersetzen ? Höchstwahrscheinlich müssen Holländer herhalten (wobei die Deutschen in der Originalfolge drolligerweise von Holländern gespielt wurden) oder es wird irgendein seltsamer Dialekt herangezogen. Wie auch immer: für Fans im folgenden die ursprünglichen Dialoge (gefunden unter http://scrubs.mopnt.com/scripts/).

J.D.'s Narration: Unfortunately, Mr. Mueller doesn't speak a word of English.
Cut to...
Mr. Mueller's Room
J.D. enters.
J.D.: Hi, Mr. Mueller.
Mr. Mueller: Warum so kalt hier?
Subtitles: "Why is it so cold in here?"
Mr. Mueller: Ich sollte eine Heizung dabei haben.
Subtitles: "I should have a space heater."
Mr. Mueller: ...oder eine Brust Krankenschwester bei mir unter die Bettdecke.
Subtitles: "...or a big chesty nurse to climb under the covers with me."
Nurse Roberts enters with a dosage of medication.
Mr. Mueller: Danke!
Nurse Roberts: What he "danke"in' you for?
J.D.: I don't know. This is so frustrating! I just wish there was some way we could connect!
***Fantasy Sequence: To the tune of Nena's "99 Luftballons", J.D. and Mr. Mueller dance amid -- that's right -- 99 red balloons.
****
J.D.: Nah, that would never work.
-----------------------
Mr. Mueller's Room
J.D. enters, where another man is standing next to Mr. Mueller's bed. He approaches J.D.
Hermann: Hey, you must be Dr. Dorian. I am, uh, Rolf's brother, Hermann.
J.D.: Hermann the German! You must get that all the time!
Hermann: No, first time....
J.D.: Oh.
Hermann: Let's hope it catches on!
They both laugh politely.
J.D.: Uh, well, uh, I could really use your help translating.
Hermann: Oh, sure.
They turn to Mr. Mueller and J.D. opens the chart.
J.D.: Uh, I got the, uh, results back from your biopsy...
Hermann: {translates} [???]
J.D.: ...the lesions in your liver--
Hermann: Es sieht so aus, als ob du--
J.D.: --are...consistent with metastatic pancreatic cancer.
Hermann: --metastatic und pancreatic Krebs hast.
Mr. Mueller: Was ist denn meine Prognose?
Hermann: Eh, what is the prognosis?
J.D.: It's not good.
Hermann: Es wird alles gut gehen.
Mr. Mueller digests the information with a sigh.
Hermann: [to J.D.] Okay.
J.D.'s Narration: The key to any good relationship is communication.
-----------------------------------
I.C.U. -- Nurses' Station
J.D. comes across Elliot.
Elliot: Hey! I just met your patient, Mr. Mueller; we had such a nice chat.
J.D.: You speak German?
Elliot: Yeah! I can do a sweet little milkmaid: "Guten Morgen...möchten sie die Kühe melken?"
Elliot: I can do an evil old hausfrau: "ESS DEIN SCHNITZEL, SONST KRIEGST DU KEIN NACHTISCH!"
J.D.: German's such a beautiful language.... Anyhoo, I think Mr. Mueller's so amazing. I mean, yesterday, I pretty much told him he was gonna die; and his brother turned to him and he said, "Es wird alles wieder gut." And Mr. Mueller just accepted it!
Elliot: Well, why wouldn't he? "Es wird alles wieder gut" means "You're going to be fine."
J.D. looks back into Mr. Mueller's room. The man gives a happy thumb's up, and Elliot returns it.
J.D.: Germans!
~*~
Nurses' Station
Elliot and J.D. are there, as Mr. Mueller is wheeled back to his room, ostensibly from a round of tests.
Mr. Mueller: [to Elliot] Sobald ich nach Hause komme, werde ich eine ganze Schokoladentorte essen!!
Elliot laughs.
J.D.: Please tell me he just said, "My brother told me the truth, and I'm dealing with it the best that I can."
Elliot: He said, "As soon as I get home, I'm eating an entire chocolate cake."
Mr. Mueller's brother passes through on his way back to the man's room.
J.D.: You mind telling me why you lied to your brother about this ____ condition!?
Hermann: You--you talk too fast.
Elliot: He said, "Warum haben sie ihren Bruder angelogen?"
Hermann: Ich wollte meinen Bruder nicht Angst machen. Arschloch.
Elliot: He didn't want to upset his brother, jackass!
J.D.: Fine, just tell him that lying to his brother isn't gonna make him any better!
Nurse Roberts interrupts the conversation to give J.D. a chart.
Nurse Roberts: We got Mr. Mueller's ultrasound back.
J.D.: [reading] His Biliary obstruction's relieved, and he's taking P.O.
Hermann: That's good, yes?
J.D.: Da!
Elliot: [translating J.D.'s Russian] Ja.
Hermann: Ah!
--------------------------------------------
Mr. Mueller's Room
Elliot and J.D. are with Mr. Mueller.
Elliot: Obwohl es sich schon so gebessert hat, sollten sie sich trotzdem bewusst sein, wie ernst ihre Lage ist.
Mr. Mueller: Also, warum hat mein Bruder mir verlügt?
Elliot: He wants to know why his brother lied to him.
J.D.: Uh...I guess he was trying to protect you. Or maybe he thought he was trying to protect you, but he was actually protecting himself.
Elliot: Hang on, I forgot what "protect" is, and you used it, like, five times. [thinks] Er wollte sie bestimmt...davor schützen.
J.D.: "...Davor schützen..."
Mr. Mueller: So ist mein Bruder...
Elliot: [translating] "Just like my brother..."
Mr. Mueller: ...denkt immer, er weiß was besser für mich ist.
Elliot: "...always thinking he knows what's best for me."
J.D.'s Narration: It's funny how one person can lead you to another. I mean, I knew Mr. Mueller's brother shouldn't have tried to protect him, and yet I was doing the same thing to someone else.
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Nachtrag: es waren diesmal also die Dänen, die als "Synchro-Deutsche" herhalten mussten. Wer den obigen rot markierten Teil gerne mal hören möchte, unter http://www.sarah-chalke.de.vu/ (im Bereich Audio) gibt es die dazu passende MP3-Datei.